By the way ...

In the end ...

We ended up with another boat. So now, after the film is done, it actually came to some sort of 'happy ending,' i.e. we now have a working boat! And, of course, my hope is that this will not only be a happy ending, but a happy beginning of a long, and interesting 'our life with a boat in the family' story ... I have been quite reluctant to use it so far, finding all sorts of excuses to not use it, too much wind, to rainy, to late, etc, mostly because I am afraid of being lost at sea. The reason for this is that the engine, the outboard motor, on this boat is also pretty old, that is from around 1980. So until I know I can trust this old fellow, and get to know him well, I do not feel the need to take my 4-year old, and my wife and myself far out on the open sea. Eventually there is a hope that we all will feel comfortable with this, which is partly the point of doing something like this in the first place, that is, to become familiar and comfortable with something we do not feel comfortable with in the first place. Time will tell if this will work out! :)

How about another boat?

Well, I could not get the motor starting, and there are some other problems with this boat as well, so it does not look too good getting the boat on the water ... But, then, a neighbor of mine came over, seeing me struggling with the boat, asking if I wanted to use his boat this summer? They were not using their boat very much, so if I needed a boat to get out on the water, he was happy to let me use his. It is very much like my boat, with the exception that this one works! :) In return I could offer him a boat slip, which was something he did not have, so we both felt that we benefited from this deal. It seems like my movie will get another ending than I thought it would, but then again, the movie was supposed to be a documentary more than anything else, so that is quite alright.

It is getting closer ...

It has not been much going on in terms of the boat the last month. One day the sun is melting down the snow, the next day it is snowing again. But now we are entering April, and I think it is time to take the tarp off of the boat. That will be exciting! The weather today is really overcast, so it isn't very nice outside, but at least it is not snowing. The forecast for tomorrow on the other hand, says clear, blue sky! I will be filming the actual boat (and not just the tarp!) for the first time, which will be really nice. This is the time when a lot of things will happen. Inspect the boat, hope it is not in too bad shape. Fix whatever needs fixing. Hopefully the motor will start! If not, I don't know what to do about it, but I'll think about that if I need to. Then it is the 'shining up' part, and then, in not too long, it is time (I just took the pacifier out of my son's mouth, of which he replied 'stupid dad!' Oh, well, he's been home from daycare for 11 days now, partly because he does not like to go there, and partly because he has been sick. As a result I have been able to do squat ...) to put the boat on the water! That will be very exciting!

Snow, and more snow ...

It has not been much progress with either the filming or anything else lately. It has been snowing almost every day, which is nice for the kids, and for people that like to go cross country, but not very good for doing stuff with the boat. The good news is that it is not -4F anymore, which has been the case lately. Now the days are getting longer, clearly, and it is around 32F and sunny. Very nice! I found it a bit hard to write down my "secrets from my past" since it involves a lot of grief, sorrow, and supressed feelings. Oh, well, I think making this movie will be a nice way to let it all out, even so, I still think I will be hiding behind the format and nature of film making, namely that it is something which is perfect for fabricating stories, which in turn can turn out to be true, or not. In other words, film making has a history of telling lies. It is perfect for that. And even though I will tell a true story, the viewer will not know if it actually is true or not. I think that is a powerful aspect of making films. It is a tension that can be taken advantage of in many ways. There will also always be a rather strong filter between the film maker and the viewer. Any viewer will also read the movie differently, and none might actually read the movie as it was intended from the maker. This is again something that just needs to be taken to account, and might even be amplified deliberately, or not ... Ambiguity is one way to work with that. Repetition another.

Progress ...

I went down to the boat slip yesterday, and did some filming. I also received the key to the docks, which was kind of weird, being a really high-tech card-reader solution. The gates themselves are solid metal gates, and pretty impossible to get by. I didn't like that very much. At first the 'man in charge' down there was reluctant to give me a key at all, since I didn't have my boat out at the moment, and there 'really wasn't any place for me to be without a boat' according to him. That is very different from what was said when the docks were new, just 2 years ago, where it was said that the area should be kept open for the public, being a very nice place to walk, and fish and jump into the ocean. I guess they are afraid of theft and stuff like that, but it would be the simplest thing in the world, and probably smarter to do even without a gate, to get there with a boat. Oh, well. Oh, well, there goes the romantic notion of the friendly boating community ... As a member of the 'club' I will have my say, and I will speak for a more open and friendly attitude towards the public. People do have insurance, and it is surveilance and guarded by members all the time anyways ...

Anyways, when I was filming down there, it was very quiet, very slow, very grey, and in my opinion, very nice. The ocean has its own pulse, and there is lots of motion, life, and sounds if you just take the time to look and listen. Drops constantly dripping, boats slowly rolling in the water, birds making distant sounds ... and the clear water you only have in the winter... beautyful! On the bottom of the sea, lots of starfish! Hundreds, probably thousands! Pretty amazing. So even though it almost seems like everything is in a state of hibernation, which is also true about me, there is still life, and very much its own beauty!

The boat is hibernating! That is actually a pretty good word for how I feel like the state of the boat is right now. The problem is: will it wake up in the spring?

Notes about script, storyline ...

The script is maybe what will be the hardest part to come up with. Right now I'm thinking of doing the whole thing with a voice over, which I think will suit the format of the film well. In that way I can comment on what I'm seeing/filming/showing and thus make a good connection between what I see and what I think. I have always been enjoying to look at details, strange things, things that other people probably don't notice and don't care about, that appear around us, almost everywhere you look. The camera will be my eyes (naturally) ... In this way I can interchange between telling the story as a superficial, what you see is what you get, and the deeper meaning, the symbolic meaning, the clichés ...

It will be difficult to make a complete storybord that will be strictly followed. Partly because I want to film over a long time, going from winter to spring, and how the nature looks, how the weather changes will be part of that. This means that whatever weather will be, will be. Also, the movie is, superficially, about my boat, and what that means to me. What I know about the boat now, is that the boat has been 'sitting' still for 3 years, without any care at all. Last time I tried, 3 years ago, the motor started up, but I do not know if that will happen now... Thus, this will also be a journey into some unknown territory. What happens, happens. Anyways, the boat is only an excuse for me to tell my story, my fears and joys. If this will be a happy movie, a sad movie, depressive or optimistic, I don't know. I really hope it will turn out happy and optimistic though, since I feel like I am an optimistic man, after all. An optimistic realist, that enjoys the moment, and tries to make a good life for myself and my family, with the help of my friends and family :)

I've been doing some filming already, and I think it looks good so far :)
(I've been filming the boat under the tarp, in the snow, and I've been filming the docks, on a really nice sunny, winter day... Today there is about 25-30 inches of snow, all in one night, that makes it hard to get around, but would be nice to film as well ... I'll see what I can do ...